my log

[Mario777]

Day 29.

One more day to go.

[Mario777]

30 days

Success! I did it - 30 days without MB

Despite the number is humble - 30 days, it wasn't so easy, especially 2. week. I thought seriously about quitting, as effort I put in it was just too much.

Now it is easier. Unfortunately no WD yet.
but these 30 days and this effort is just too valuable, and gets more valuable every day, to quit now.
So my next goal is to make February MB free!!! In total then there will be 50 days.

[Squeeze]

You're doing awesome, man! 30 days is huge!! You are getting closer to your prize, my friend! :-)

[Mario777]

The 30th day is getting much more difficult than I expected.
It is probably because I have fullfilled first goal and I am at the point I could choose what to do next. I am trying to motivate myself to continue.
I have really elevated feelings. Sexually. It could be probably because I allowed myself to watch porn. It is difficult to concentrate on work. Very difficult. It is the reason I do this post as I can not do my work.
Over a 2 week period I allowed myself to induce erection. I did not edge. I wanted to see if I can get hard, as there have been only spontaneous erections for weeks only. It was strange. It didn't get really too hard, but it felt like it is going to shoot any second. So I stopped.
I feel irritated. And I try to calm down and direct my thoughts in my mind and get organized.
I have to set my mind for a next goal. MB free February... 1/3 is already completed, so it shouldn't be that difficult.
Okay, I try to work with myself now and get some work done.

Or I have to make excuses like: I am sorry, I can't concentrate on work right now because I haven't had any sexual release during last 30 days
thats funny!!

[Squeeze]

Are you exercising at all, Mario? Since your sexual tension is a very physical thing, one of the few things a guy can do to channel and burn some of that energy is to exercise in one form or another. Otherwise, you are just going to sit there frustrated, horny, and distracted like you are now. If you are exercising, do so more; switch it up and add whatever you are not doing now, if you are lifting weights, then add cardio, or vice a versa. Take advantage of this extra energy and use it to improve yourself, don't let it just make you miserable. Then, you should be able to focus at work more easily, sleep better, etc. Best of luck!

[scorkin21]

Are you exercising at all, Mario? Since your sexual tension is a very physical thing, one of the few things a guy can do to channel and burn some of that energy is to exercise in one form or another. Otherwise, you are just going to sit there frustrated, horny, and distracted like you are now. If you are exercising, do so more; switch it up and add whatever you are not doing now, if you are lifting weights, then add cardio, or vice a versa. Take advantage of this extra energy and use it to improve yourself, don't let it just make you miserable. Then, you should be able to focus at work more easily, sleep better, etc. Best of luck!

i definetely agree with what squeeze said.

rather than wasting ur time letting urself become horny and restless, use ur time during ur abstinence and do something more meaningful. Not only will it pull ur mind from being easily aroused, u will also be doing stuff that will make urself a better person.

I have went to gym several times since abstaining from MB. Today is day 41 for me, but because of my work and all my gym session, there's just no time for me to get horny or aroused.

All the best to you. May u get ur WD soon.

Scorkin21

[Mario777]

Day 31, uneventful.

Thanks guys for advice. Physical activity is only good for me. I have to find ways and time to do that. My lifestyle is relatively busy, only there is little regular physical activity.
Yesturday was littlebit different day. And as you know days are not brothers

[Mario777]

day 32

it is really my inner inconvenience or indeciseveness I feel. Whether to go on or not.
The fight with urge to MB is to be won one level higher. I mean that motivated decision is to be made in much deeper level of subconciousness in order for it effectively to work. Then it is easy to kill that urge as I have done it past few weeks. Sitting there and resisting to desire to watch porn or get aroused other ways makes it only difficult and instead of resistin every 15 minute I got fight every minute.
At the same time I don't find any good reason to quit. Indeciseveness is even worse than deciding to MB. It consumes me.
I am trying to motivate myself with MB free February...
I can't go out and excercise any time I wish.

[Mario777]

Day 33

Well, I watched some porn. I got an erection. My genitals felt really sensitive despite it didn't get hard as quick or hard as it used to be. Strange. But I really was close to orgasm despite I didn't even touch myself. So I stopped doing that.

It seems so that getting aroused by whatever reasons release some sexual energy. Not nearly as much as MB, but it does.
I could compare it as cup of water. This cup could be imagined as a sexual energy or libido. NB! it is not the same as semen reservoirs. It fills slowly by itself. At some point it is completely full and then you feel the need for release. This energy slowly dribble over and you feel it as T-buzz. MB could be compared to emptying this cup. When you watch porn you shake this cup and it is not overfilled anymore. Edging shakes it even more.
I think that for triggering a WD you have to keep this cup overfilled. With overfilled energy cup WD should occur sooner.

Right now I feel confident again about MB free february. It will happen, I am sure and motivated.

[Mario777]

day 34

I am still here. Enjoying MB free february

[Mario777]

Day 35

Only half of february is left to enjoy MB free February

[micheal9]

Wow!! congrats on 35 days I dont know how your doing it. Its been 18 days for me but the first two weeks I spent almost everyday enging and looking at porn. I can only hope to make it as far as you or untill a wd. Give me strengh it does get more and more difficult. The past few nights I wake up in the middle of the night rock hard and that just makes me want to mb. How am I going to go the distance?

[Mario777]

Day 36

Today early morning I woke. For no apparent reason. My penis was slightly hard. But during the half councious time ( I was avare where I was and that it was hard and I tried to get some more sleep) it got really hard. Just like that, without any dream or thought. I was half asleep quite long time. Penis started pulsing by itself like someone has touched it. I feared I will just orgasm without a touch. No dream was associated at the time, as I said I was half awake. But then it calmed down and I got some more sleep. So that was it. No WD or NE this time.

[Mario777]

Day 37.

[Mario777]

Day 38

My dick behave weird, it is like seeking for attention. While sitting behand a computer and doing my work it has strange contractions. Like someone is touching it. It feels irritated from inside. And then it becomes erect in the matter of seconds and after a few minutes returns to normal soft state. strange.

[Mario777]

Day 39

Dull.

[Mario777]

40 days.

Not so many days. But soon I start to feel like it is an achievement. 60 days for me is achievement for sure.
Only 9 days left of MB free February too. Thats a small achievement too.
Very little i have Mb'd this year...
Perhaps it is time to think about MB free march?
Yea but it is better to take small steps.

[scorkin21]

40 days.

Not so many days. But soon I start to feel like it is an achievement. 60 days for me is achievement for sure.
Only 9 days left of MB free February too. Thats a small achievement too.
Very little i have Mb'd this year...
Perhaps it is time to think about MB free march?
Yea but it is better to take small steps.

true.... these small little achievements are the push factors that keep us going on, to abstained from MB fully.

you can definitely do it, MB-free March, definitely. With your determination and perseverance, and with your goal in mind, and your achievement that you wish to have, you will overcome all odds and be successful.

All the best to you.

Scorkin21

[Mario777]

Day 41

No WD yet. There was a massive morning wood, many times woke up. Had also some dreams, of whitch some were quite nice. Nothing erotic.

[Mario777]

day 42

9 days of February left.

[Mario777]

day 43

It is getting dull to count these days...
I am closing to my previous record not MB'ing. I can't remember anymore exactly, how many days it was. It was around 1 month and 2 weeks. There is a big difference between this time and previous time. I edged a lot and watched porn everyday. That was difficult. much more difficult. And finally I just stopped, as I didn't reach my primary goal - to have a WD. It seemed just useless waste of time and energy.
Now, my primary goal isn't to have any WD, despite I hope to have it. I would like to see, for how long I could abstain from MB. And if I am able to convert that unused energy into something useful. I am trying not to fight myself this time.

[Mario777]

Day 44.

[Mario777]

Day 45.

Only 4 days left. Then it would be MB free February.

[Mario777]

Day 46

It is true that it is getting easier to abstain form MB over time.

[Mario777]

Day 47

Yesturday evening there was an interesting incident... I chatted on the net about sexual issues. It turned me so much on that I can't remember when I had such a heavy hard on. I didn't touch it. Only to make myself more comfortable. I leaked also some semen, which is very rare with me. Actually I don't remember it happening to me before. At some point I felt like i am going to have orgasm without touching my penis... So I tried to divert conversation to other topic. It is a surprise for me that I reacted almost violently.
Despite I didn't have any orgasm I feel myself littlebit relieved today.. T-Buzz is not so strong today. You could call it edging, but it actually wasn't initiated by me.
In the past I've had orgasms induced only by thoughts - right on the street. I didn't touch myself at all. So it is crucially important to be able to clean your mind of thoughts if it is necessary. It is very difficult draw the line when you thought is edging and when it is not. But it is clear, when sexual thoughts have entered your mind, they tend to fill your thinking space until you orgasm. That must be avoided.

[Mario777]

Day 48

Though I didn't masturbate, I feel like I did. I think it was because I was sexually so excited. I haven't been in such a state for a long time. I can call it mental edging... It could lead to involuntary ejaculation. Very hard to draw the line. Very.

[Mario777]

day 49

[Mario777]

day 50 and February has been MB free so far. 13,7% of year without MB.

Time to set new goals as i feel I could continue pretty easy compared to second and third week.
It would be great if I could reach 60 days. Only 10 days to go.
It would be fantastic if March could be MB free as well.

[Mario777]

Day 51

I don't have even 2 months, but I already think of having 3 MB free months...
Last day has been difficult again for me.

I think the Urge has changed. It feels different now. i don't get erect so easy as I used to. It seem to be more picky on what it gets erect and on what it doesn't. But when the stimuli is right, then the erection is almost instant. I don't know if others have experienced something similar.

[Mario777]

Day 52

Last days have been difficult ones, as it has been increasingly hard to concentrate on work. I think, if I get over this period, it will get even more easier to continue. But lets see.